Well, she went and did it (I was going to be real country and say “done it”, but I don’t want to sound like any more of a hick than I already am). What did she do, you inquizitive readers ask? She healed that tear she put through my heart. And it was really something magical when she did it. It’s the reason I smiled the other night. It’s the reason that I smile before I turn over and head off to the land of slumber nightly. It’s the reason I’m happy again. No more (severely) despondent posts, asking why about lots of things (even though, as we learned, “Why?” is the root of all questions), no more of deezil being pissed off at himself and every body, no more of alot of the negativity that has been flowing from the fingers as of late. It’s not worth my energy to be so down.
Side note: I just read through that entry again, and the girl that ripped out my heart therein is the same one that is patching it back up. How odd.
So, I will start to be upbeat. And it all starts with this blog. It’s gotten old and drab. And now, since people are finally getting used to it, I’m changing it. I’ve got about 4 rough drafts sketched out and thrown in the back of my seldom-opened binder. Two are really in contention for right now, and it’s probably going to end up being “changeBlog”.
This will definitely end up being something different. Notice a few things.
1.) Look Ma, No Links: Sorry for all you that like the links on the front, it’s going to be a lot less cluttered this time, plus, I’m going to start running a bookmarklet/linkblog type system in order to cache the daily finds, so it all needs to be in one place. The links section will be where to find that.
2.) WTFMenu.jpg: The top of the page is going to be a big site navigation bar. You’ll actually be able to get around this place halfway decently.
3.) What you see is what you get: You’ll notice there are things like an “About” page, and there are will be a way to navigate the archives somewhat nicely (driven by a special category thing…you’ll see what I mean later).
4.) And you get some things you don’t see: I’m going to make the switch to dynamic pages by making everything php. It seems like a rather easy do for MovableType, so I’m going for it.
5.) For far on down the road (yes, I have to make the road allusions for what short time Road Trippin’ has left): I hope someday soon to be able to make the site layout dynamic. This way, you could pick from what site layout you like the best, and then you can make it your default. I’ll probably need to talk to Bofe on this one. Also, I’d be able to add in new layouts and not throw people off.
6.) It’s just time. The damn blog has been up for quite a while now in the grand scheme of things. You don’t leave a 1969 Mustang on it’s own and say it is fine, do you? Nope, you call in a designer. I just hang code on the end of lines, not a pipe on the end of a muffler.
It’s about time this old hot rod got a new paint job anyway.
Toodles.
Oh, and for those that ask, it’s 5.0 because it was slated to go after two other designs I already had. But it’s been bumped to the front of the line, headed to the Frau Mauro highlands (anyone who catches that movie reference gets 5 cool points).
And yes, this entry should have been at least two seperate ones, if not three or four. Any problems can be directed to getoff.mynuts@deezil.us

It’s not often I get stressed. But tonight. Tonight. Tonight I am stressed. It’s not just that I should be awake in 2 and a half hours, and haven’t got any sleep yet. It’s not that there’s just a bunch of drama that’s going on when the solution was oh-so-simple. It’s just that it’s three weeks until the end of school, and there’s absolutely too much going on. Three weeks. I never thought that this semester would ever be over, and all that is left is three weeks. Three fucking weeks. Just get it over already. I love the fraternity. I love the brothers that are inside its walls. I just hate the price that I have to pay for it sometimes. And right now, I sure am paying a price. Well, off here, and I’m going to clean the room, take a shower, and hopefully de-stress before what needs to happen for the rest of the night.
I want to take this time to thank the brothers that were there for me tonight. I don’t know how many of you read this, but I want to thank all ~20 of you just the same. Now, I know why I joined and became a part of Alpha, Sigma, Phi.

Any day you go to bed with a smile has been a good day.
Guess who’s smiling tonight? .
Exactly.

Okay, I don’t watch that much TV any more. When I do watch, I like my viewing experience not to be crapped up by stupid commercials. There’s one that’s on right now with AOL, that is leading the public astray, asking them to spend too much money, and is generally stupid. If you haven’t seen it, the synopsis is as follows: Two guys in a lunch line, one is explaining AOL’s internet security package to the other one. Mr. Explainer puts a cover over his sandwich, and proceeds to dump items onto the Mr. Listener’s sandwich, telling him that’s all the garbage that is out there on the internet (spyware, viruses, etc.). Then, the announcer cuts into the spiel of what all AOL can do for you. As stated above, there are three main flaws.
1.) They lead the public astray: They are putting the fear of God in them that if they don’t have AOL, then their computer is going to blow up, their dog is going to be kidnapped, and a swarm of locusts will devour their home. Sure, there are major problems out there on all the internets, but there are other ways to do things, at least using things other than AOL.
2.)They are costing people too much money: The commercial is highlighting the AOL for broadband service. This requires that you buy high-speed service from your local cable/DSL/electric provider, and then you must buy AOL’s service at a cost of $9.99 a month.
*BUT DEEZIL, LOOK AT ALL THE FREE STUFF YOU GET!!!!111one!!!1shift+1!!1eleven*
I’ve already covered this in an older entry: The Tech Specs It’s already free, before you pay $9.99 a month for it. So smile, I just saved you 10 bucks.
3.) It’s stupid on principle: Why crap up a good sammich. There are much better metaphors for what is being done. Hell, make it a condom commercial at the same time. “With AOL wrapped around your dong, you’ll never get pregnant”. Hey, come to think of it, that’s the line of reasoning they are using. And condoms don’t fail, right? Exactly.
I’m gonna wrap my computer in latex. It’ll work just the same.

*EDIT: You can now comment on this entry. This was one I had had in the system for a while, and the auto-comments-off thingy killed the comments until now. END EDIT*
Spring. It’s a time of refreshment. It’s a time for the world to renew itself. To make better the bonds that it holds itself together with. To perpetuate change. To change. And this spring, things are no different. As usual, I take the opportunity to clean out things and people that don’t fit me any more. That aren’t the caliber people that I want to interface with. That aren’t communicating with me any more. Those that have faded into oblivion, and wish to stay there, despite my repeated attempts to dig them out of it. It’s a delicate process, really. You have to play politick with every one that you decide to get rid of. You have to let them go gently. You have to ease them out of being in your life. You have to at least make it look like you care. Really, since this is just the next in a long line of these purging processes, it doesn’t phase me like it used to. I just act the way I have to act towards them for convienece’s sake. It makes things less messy. I guess I’ll continue being this asshole who just cuts people off, but if these people were to look at it from my side, they cut me off long ago.

There’s no point in ever looking back. Sure, you may look back and see the good times, the times when you really were at the pinnacle of your person, and laugh or smile. But, invariably, when you do look back, you will see soemthing that will make your heart hurt inside. And those are the things that stick out. The things that still seem close to your heart. Your demons and devils.
We all have them.
It may be the fact that we did something wrong to someone that we were very close to, breaking their trust and their spirit. It may be that we had our trust and spirit broken by someone that we loved. It may just be that there was no love there at all. Whatever the case, it will always come back to haunt us in the end if we keep looking in that rear veiw mirror that life provides us. Because what we see there is always closer to us than it really is.
Don’t look back to the past, just to look, or to pull from it. Let it go. It’s not worth all the pain to have to relive those memories, no matter how far away they are.

The end of that last entry said “Forgetting. A trait I could use”. Well, I guess I damn near forgot about this thing for a few days. It happens. There’s been lots going on, lots of things that have taken my time away from writing here. My desire is still there, my time is what I truly lack to be able to write. I am working on lots of things right now, but today, for the sake of mental health, I am writing and publishing a few things. It’s a must. After the night I had last night, a definite must.
Note: Yes, I did have some things pre-typed and pre-written. I just hadn’t had the time to get it here.

Spinning, out of control, wildly, not knowing when it’s all going to come to a screeching halt, the colors of everyone blurring around me.
It’s all crazy around here.
Just when I had things figured out, things fall apart all over again. Don’t know what did it this time, but the move from pleasantries to bitter hate was surely a shock. Trying civility gets me nowhere, and since I don’t know the enemy, I can’t defend myself from it.
I kept my end of the bargain.
Now, the wailing continues as I get dragged further and further in the storm. When you can’t protect yourself, you must do whatever you can, and at all costs, to save what you have from getting obliterated.
When will it all stop.
I smell like Chlorine and pool water. Had a great time at pool tonight with brothers. Having brotherhood makes you forget many things.
Forgetting, a trait I could use.

Windows requires re-installation. I’ll be unavailable until after the meeting tonight, probably. If you need me, you know how to reach me.
♥

No elaborate hoaxes, no spiffy changes, didn’t have the time or energy to waste on it. Things have been hectic as of late, and I have little desire to tell of them.
A good April Fool’s read.