Deezil.us

Hi.

It’s been a few days.
July ended up well. There were a few things that contributed to it’s general success near the end, but those are those nuggets that only I can treasure. You all just wouldn’t understand.
August has started up, and it’s now 1/3 over. In the first 10 and a third days of the month, I have been extremely busy (read: swamped up to my asshole), and haven’t really had time for girls, strip clubs, booze, internet, or any of those other creature comforts that I surround myself with. It’s basically been one workfest after another. Suck.
Last time I used this title, I had so much more to say. Maybe it’s just my state of mind right now, but there’s not much going on upstairs. It’s rather blank. Those usual feelings of “love”, lust and general interest in people have been removed altogether as well. It’s more of an introverted interest in myself that has been fueling me.
I’m still refusing to lose weight, but it keeps peeling off of my like it’s a job. I had one of those slices today. But I biked for two hours last night, and will probably do the same tonight. It feels good to have the sweat drenching me and the wind flowing around me to cool me off. I only seem to get warm whenever I stop.
I’m wanting to either go see RP when he goes on his road trip, or somehow kidnap him / offer oral sex / make him crash to get him to come here and see me. It’ll be during move in for all the newbies here at Murray, and I just want to blow them all off. Nothing would make me happier.
I was going to say that I’ve missed the internet, but that would be a lie. I don’t miss it, I’m happy that I actually have a life outside of everything that goes on here on the interwebnetthingye-mailchatfilesharingIM. It’s going to be fun doing this computer thing for life, but there’s only so many hours you can sit with a keyboard under your fingers every day. And with these 8-9 hour workdays plus private jobs at night, it becomes cumbersome.
I keep on fallin’
In and out
Of love with you
I never loved someone
The way that I loved you
That was love and I until now. I’ve swayed in and out of “love”, lust, and just general interest in people for as long as I can remember. It’s one of those character flaws. But, for right now, love and I are going our separate ways. Sure, I’m not going to deny love if it comes along to me, but I’m done with the fruitless pursuit. There’s only one more date I’m going on, and really, it’s just something fun, not really a “date”. It’s with a girl named Brittany, who happens to be in a position of power at one of the dorms. Met her at a gathering all the people in the same position were having. She’s a cool girl, but I really don’t see anything happening.
I guess this stint against love was actually spurred by all of my grandparents. I talked to my mom’s parents and dad’s mom all one night. They all asked me if I had a girlfriend. I know their lives are all coming to ends (I’m the last grandchild on dad’s side, the first on mom’s), and they want to see this grandchild get married, but I can’t say that I will be able to let them see that. I’ve already had my stint with marraige, and as much as I want to settle down again, that “M” word won’t be around for a long time. Maybe ever.
Tonight, I’m moving out of my house in Murray, back to Gravel Switch for a week, then back here to the dorms. I want to be in GS. But, it’s really just become someplace to vacation to. Murray’s now the home. The only home.